Ahman Green Arrested

[Enhance]

Yeah, sounds like they were both in the wrong--the 15 year old for not wanting to do dishes/chores, and Ahman for probably pushing that a little too far.

We're talking about something here that, quite honestly, could happen to most parents that deal with unruly children. Not saying it's right, just saying it could happen to most of us.

bullsh#t. To all of this.

Both were definitely acting inappropriately and Ahman went incredibly too far and should have never hit her, if it all indeed happened.
As for his second line, I know you're not a parent and neither am I. But, I had a sibling. Perhaps you did, too. I saw my mother and sister go at it sometimes, so much so that I thought one of them was going to lose it one day and hit the other. It never happened. But, being in that situation, where violence could happen, is definitely a reality for a lot of parents with kids.

Whether or not you act on that aggression is, of course, something else entirely.

The last part is why I said it's bullsh#t. But apparently for most of the people reading this, that isn't a line

Literally speaking, you said "all of this" is bullsh#t, and I interpreted that as you saying you felt everything he said was bullsh#t. I might have interpreted what he posted a little differently.

Most of us will agree we should never hit a child. But, I took his post as meaning that most parents could get into a situation like Ahman (i.e. a child flat out refusing to listen to you and work with you on something like chores). The important factor is the result and how the parent/child handles their anger. I agree with you that you don't need to be a parent to know not to hit a child, but I also have never been a parental position like that.

I also personally try to avoid offering in-depth opinions on matters like these because I've never been in a position like theirs. There is no way to definitively prove how I would react in that situation. I can think I'd act a certain way, and believe I'd act a certain way, but there's no way for me to know with 100% certainty.

 

[Sgt Red]

I find it odd that people think hitting a kid as a means of discipline is a bad thing. I have not had to do it to my kids since they were young. I used it as a tool when they were young so I would not have to work so hard at disciplining them as they grew up. To me abuse is a systematic terrorizing of a person by using physical harm or intense mental stress. On the otherhand discipline is a setting of boundaries with punishment and reward for good behavior. With the Intention of loving guidance to bring about social obedience within the family and community.

 

[307husker]

That's really well stated Sgt Red.

 

[Enhance]

The line is drawn differently in the sand for a lot of people. Abuse to some may not be abuse to others.

Spanking (or minor swatting) is still acceptable among many parents. It's not for others. However, "hitting" is a vague term that could apply to several different things. When I hear the words "hitting a kid," I think of punching them/slapping in the head. I personally believe that's going too far.

 

[MyBloodIsRed16]

Yeah, sounds like they were both in the wrong--the 15 year old for not wanting to do dishes/chores, and Ahman for probably pushing that a little too far.

We're talking about something here that, quite honestly, could happen to most parents that deal with unruly children. Not saying it's right, just saying it could happen to most of us.

You have to be joking me?
She is a 15 year old kid.. She didnt want to do dishes so he punched her?

Not even close to both being in the wrong.

A man who lays hands on a woman is scum. A man who lays hands on a child is scum...

Green might have lost his temper and I hope this isn't the man who he is, but laying Punching(causing a black eye) on your child is never ok.

Lock his butt up.

He said he popped her with an open palm. Maybe he was gonna pop her in the back of the head and she turned. My mother broke my nose when I was about 14 because she tried to slap me in the face and as a reflex I turned my head and her hand hit me square in the nose. I could have just called the cops and said my mom hit me in the face and broke my nose. I would be telling the truth but the police wouldn't have all the facts. That's why we have the systems we have. If it comes out that he punched her intentionally in the face then by all means he should face the music.

 

[BIGREDIOWAN]

I find it odd that people think hitting a kid as a means of discipline is a bad thing. I have not had to do it to my kids since they were young. I used it as a tool when they were young so I would not have to work so hard at disciplining them as they grew up. To me abuse is a systematic terrorizing of a person by using physical harm or intense mental stress. On the otherhand discipline is a setting of boundaries with punishment and reward for good behavior. With the Intention of loving guidance to bring about social obedience within the family and community.

Well put, I very rarely have to put my hands on my children now. I did when they were younger in the form of the occasional swat on the rear here and there. Does that make me a bad person? I don't believe so and I personally believe that if I didn't do that/don't do that I'll have my hands full when they're teenagers. I don't even really have to swat them on the rear now. I do the "dad grab" where I grab their arm and they usually are like, "Uh oh, the old man's serious!" "Yep, I'm with you dad, I'll stop doing that!" I've never hauled off and "hit" them in the sense that I had a closed fist or something. I must be doing something right, they aren't afraid of me, but they know when I say something that's the way it needs to be and they seem to be obsessed with me.

 

[junior4949]

I'm a parent of a soon to be 9 year old boy and soon to be 12 year old girl. I have physically disciplined them both. With the girl, it rarely ever comes to that because yelling at her seems to work better than physically swatting her. The boy on the other hand is a different story. While I don't have to do it often, I do have to get physical with him. My wife and I were married for what seemed quite a while before we had children. It was discussed quite a bit whether we were going to spank or not. We were both in our 30's before our first one came along. By this time, a lot of our friends had older children. It was a rather easy choice to make considering we had friends who spanked and we had friends who did not. Now that we're in our 40's, most of our friends kids are pretty much grown. It seems substance abuse is running rather rampant through our non spanking friends kids. They also tend to be the ones still living at home after they've graduated.

 

[zoogs]

Well, that's confirmed: spank your kids, or they'll be jobless druggies!

 

[Mierin]

People are still equating spankings with slapping someone in the face, for some reason.

 

[Mierin]

Yeah, sounds like they were both in the wrong--the 15 year old for not wanting to do dishes/chores, and Ahman for probably pushing that a little too far.

We're talking about something here that, quite honestly, could happen to most parents that deal with unruly children. Not saying it's right, just saying it could happen to most of us.

bullsh#t. To all of this.

Both were definitely acting inappropriately and Ahman went incredibly too far and should have never hit her, if it all indeed happened.
As for his second line, I know you're not a parent and neither am I. But, I had a sibling. Perhaps you did, too. I saw my mother and sister go at it sometimes, so much so that I thought one of them was going to lose it one day and hit the other. It never happened. But, being in that situation, where violence could happen, is definitely a reality for a lot of parents with kids.

Whether or not you act on that aggression is, of course, something else entirely.

The last part is why I said it's bullsh#t. But apparently for most of the people reading this, that isn't a line

Literally speaking, you said "all of this" is bullsh#t, and I interpreted that as you saying you felt everything he said was bullsh#t. I might have interpreted what he posted a little differently.
Most of us will agree we should never hit a child. But, I took his post as meaning that most parents could get into a situation like Ahman (i.e. a child flat out refusing to listen to you and work with you on something like chores). The important factor is the result and how the parent/child handles their anger. I agree with you that you don't need to be a parent to know not to hit a child, but I also have never been a parental position like that.

I also personally try to avoid offering in-depth opinions on matters like these because I've never been in a position like theirs. There is no way to definitively prove how I would react in that situation. I can think I'd act a certain way, and believe I'd act a certain way, but there's no way for me to know with 100% certainty.

I thought it was obvious I wasn't talking about being in a situation where a kid was refusing to do dishes and all around being awful. That can happen to even the best parents.

 

[Mierin]

I find it odd that people think hitting a kid as a means of discipline is a bad thing. I have not had to do it to my kids since they were young. I used it as a tool when they were young so I would not have to work so hard at disciplining them as they grew up. To me abuse is a systematic terrorizing of a person by using physical harm or intense mental stress. On the otherhand discipline is a setting of boundaries with punishment and reward for good behavior. With the Intention of loving guidance to bring about social obedience within the family and community.

Did you hit them in the face?

 

[Guy Chamberlin]

I would never, ever punch my daughter in the face.

But my wife and I have said and done things we never imagined ourselves doing as parents. Things we specifically promised ourselves we would never do when we became parents. Things we held in judgement of other parents until we became parents ourselves.

Of course people who aren't parents can have a profound understanding, empathy, love and protectiveness for children.

But until they are yours 24/7/365, I'm not sure you can fully appreciate the razor's edge of child rearing.

And I am sure no parent would want his or her worst moment to go public.

 

[Sgt Red]

I find it odd that people think hitting a kid as a means of discipline is a bad thing. I have not had to do it to my kids since they were young. I used it as a tool when they were young so I would not have to work so hard at disciplining them as they grew up. To me abuse is a systematic terrorizing of a person by using physical harm or intense mental stress. On the otherhand discipline is a setting of boundaries with punishment and reward for good behavior. With the Intention of loving guidance to bring about social obedience within the family and community.

Did you hit them in the face?

Only if they used their mouth to be disobedient. I slapped them on the lips. I would never punch a child. A teenager...maybe in a rare instance depending on how "they" escalate situation.

 

[Sgt Red]

In law enforcement I got sick and tired of parents giving away their authority to discipline a child. They would call me and say deal with my child and I would tell the parent depending on the situation to spank the kid because I couldn't and didn't want to live with them to raise their children. I had more than one mom say she didn't want to get in trouble because the kid always threatened to "turn her in if she touched her". Well I told her and the teenager that I would be the one responding to the call and I had no problem with mom whipping the tar out of the child for disobedience. In the end we stopped having trouble with that child. Mom had the power again.

 

[Guy Chamberlin]

In law enforcement I got sick and tired of parents giving away their authority to discipline a child. They would call me and say deal with my child and I would tell the parent depending on the situation to spank the kid because I couldn't and didn't want to live with them to raise their children. I had more than one mom say she didn't want to get in trouble because the kid always threatened to "turn her in if she touched her". Well I told her and the teenager that I would be the one responding to the call and I had no problem with mom whipping the tar out of the child for disobedience. In the end we stopped having trouble with that child. Mom had the power again.

There are lots of ways parents give up power to their kids.

Failure to physically strike them usually isn't the problem. And striking them isn't often the neat, clean piece of discipline you're trying to portray here.

Key word I guess is discipline. Which means control. "Whipping the tar out of a kid" typically means losing control, not gaining it.

You'd need to come back in a few years to determine if your little anecdote here was indeed a success.