Socializing

BigRedBuster

BigRedBuster

Active member
Ok…..I grew up in a home where my parents always had the neighbors and friends over on any random night to sit around and just talk and have fun. 
 

My wife and I hardly ever do that and I think I’ve figured out why. (After 32 years). My home, was always a clean and nice home, but my parents were perfectly fine with them coming over with the house looking lived in.  There might be a few things left out and messy but it was comfortable. 
 

My wife and I very seldom have people over. Every time we do, we have to clean the house from top to bottom and absolutely nothing can be out on the counter of even in the friggen laundry room. Why???  Why the f#&% does the house to look like it’s in a magazine every time someone comes over?

I find this with a lot of people our age. Why?

 
My wife insists on doing a huge clean before having anyone over.  It does make it .... not as much fun.

I think we don't have people over a lot because we're pretty busy so when we can just be at home, we're ready to just not do much.  

But the cleaning is definitely a thing.

 
My wife is the same way. House has to be absolutely spotless and not a thing out of place before anyone can come over. It’s not like it is ever dirty or a complete mess but that doesn’t matter. I don’t think it has anything to do with age or social media or HGTV. At least in our case it’s because her mother was that way. It’s not terrible, just a little bit of pain if/when we do have people over and probably some missed opportunities because of it. On the positive side, it’s very easy to decide to not have guests when we don’t want to.

Now when it gets weird and annoying is when we have to clean the house, do all the wash, take out all the trash before we go somewhere, like a long weekend trip to Lincoln. Nobody is going to be here and we’re coming back. Tell me wtf that is all about.

 
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I've definitely experienced this plenty and lived it myself, and on the flip side of this experience I can't explain how liberating it feels to start living out a reality where you host and don't always have to do that. I spend a *lot* of time in and fostering community and am really fortunate to have a wide and rich network of people all over Atlanta that feel like an extended family of ~100 or so folks in the art community that are all relatively tight knit. Our house is one that people have come to expect as being one of the main big gathering places for parties, events, etc., and a year or two ago we started doing an open door, self hosting policy every Sunday. Essentially just telling people we'll be home, have no plan, and would love for people to drop in whenever they feel like and do whatever they want, whether that be hang with us or just read a book or paint or watch tv or whatever. We usually all end up hanging out together anyways, but we make very little effort towards putting a best foot forward and it feels so nice.

 
Years ago when I first got my house I loved having people over to watch games, party, play poker, whatever...but that night or the next day, the house was a mess.  Not like trashed, but just a mess.  it was annoying.  

 
teachercd said:
Years ago when I first got my house I loved having people over to watch games, party, play poker, whatever...but that night or the next day, the house was a mess.  Not like trashed, but just a mess.  it was annoying.  
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JJ Husker said:
Now when it gets weird and annoying is when we have to clean the house, do all the wash, take out all the trash before we go somewhere, like a long weekend trip to Lincoln. Nobody is going to be here and we’re coming back. Tell me wtf that is all about.
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OMG....that drives me nuts.  I can understand the trash because there might be something in it that will be stinking by the time we get back.  But, totally cleaning the house, before you leave....makes no sense to me.

 
BigRedBuster said:
OMG....that drives me nuts.  I can understand the trash because there might be something in it that will be stinking by the time we get back.  But, totally cleaning the house, before you leave....makes no sense to me.
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I can actually see this to some extent.  Maybe not a complete deep-clean.  But trying to get things somewhat in order so that you don't feel like the first thing you have to do when you get home is clean makes some sense.

Obviously the devil is in the details (scope and scale) on this one.

 
Mavric said:
I can actually see this to some extent.  Maybe not a complete deep-clean.  But trying to get things somewhat in order so that you don't feel like the first thing you have to do when you get home is clean makes some sense.

Obviously the devil is in the details (scope and scale) on this one.
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So when we would do husker road games...I would NEVER do anything before we left...so we would leave on a Thursday or Friday and come back on Sunday around like 4-5pm...and it was super annoying to have to do laundry, mow, run to the store to get food.

I hated it!!!

 
Mavric said:
I can actually see this to some extent.  Maybe not a complete deep-clean.  But trying to get things somewhat in order so that you don't feel like the first thing you have to do when you get home is clean makes some sense.

Obviously the devil is in the details (scope and scale) on this one.
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It only bothers me when it makes us late leaving. Mind you it’s never that dirty/messy to begin with. Taking the kitchen trash out makes sense. Vacuuming and doing the wood floors…not a biggie but completely unnecessary imo. But the laundry? This is what invariably makes us late leaving. Those frikken clothes will be there when we get back. But no, the hampers have to be empty. :bang   It’s nice to have it all done but not at the expense of leaving 2-4 hours late.

 
JJ Husker said:
It only bothers me when it makes us late leaving. Mind you it’s never that dirty/messy to begin with. Taking the kitchen trash out makes sense. Vacuuming and doing the wood floors…not a biggie but completely unnecessary imo. But the laundry? This is what invariably makes us late leaving. Those frikken clothes will be there when we get back. But no, the hampers have to be empty. :bang   It’s nice to have it all done but not at the expense of leaving 2-4 hours late.
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I agree.  We've (almost always) known when we're leaving for days if not weeks.  Why did we wait until an hour before we were supposed to get into the car to decide all this needed done.   :dunno

 
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