Chart

Roxy15

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Here’s A Chart

Life's Demerit System for Men
         Do something she likes, and you get points.
        Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
        You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system: 
SIMPLE DUTIES 
You make the bed. (+1) 
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10) 
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3) 
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8) 
But return with beer. (-5) 
 SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS 
You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1) 
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2) 
Named Tina (-10) 
Who is a dancer. (-10) 
And has breast implants. (-40) 
HER BIRTHDAY 
You take her out to dinner. (+2) 
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3) 
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2) 
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3) 
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10) 
A NIGHT OUT 
You take her to a movie. (+1) 
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5) 
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) 
You take her to a movie you like. (-2) 
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3) 
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15) 
YOUR PHYSIQUE 
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) 
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) 
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) 
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too" (-180) 
THE BIG QUESTION 
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) 
(Yes, you lose points no matter what !) 
You hesitate in responding. (-10) 
You reply, "Where?" (-35) 
You give any other response. (-20) 

COMMUNICATION 
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2) 
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) 
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500) 
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4,000)
Men - ignore this guide at your peril !

 
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