What does this picture show from the Nebraska Boy's State High School BB Championships?

[NUance]

Couple of things. First, I am not a big fan of public shaming unless I am aware of the full context of the situation. A screenshot of a text conversation paints only a small picture. Even if it is an ugly one.

Second, I am glad this got out so that the public could see just how backwards and ignorant some people can be even in 2016. Winnebago used to be an armpit of a town that people would speed through as fast as they could. Now it is a thriving community that has proper leadership in place that helps the city grow while several of the predominantly white towns around it are seeing declining numbers of residents and jobs.

Also, it's the woman in white who is being public shamed. But she didn't use the objectionable term. So there's that.

I guess you could say that she tacitly accepted the term by not objecting to it. But it's a text message. What was she supposed to do, chastise Benjamin in a text message response over his use of the pejorative ethnic slur? (I guess she could have.)

:

 

[Redux]

Couple of things. First, I am not a big fan of public shaming unless I am aware of the full context of the situation. A screenshot of a text conversation paints only a small picture. Even if it is an ugly one.

Second, I am glad this got out so that the public could see just how backwards and ignorant some people can be even in 2016. Winnebago used to be an armpit of a town that people would speed through as fast as they could. Now it is a thriving community that has proper leadership in place that helps the city grow while several of the predominantly white towns around it are seeing declining numbers of residents and jobs.

Also, it's the woman in white who is being public shamed. But she didn't use the objectionable term. So there's that.

I guess you could say that she tacitly accepted the term by not objecting to it. But it's a text message. What was she supposed to do, chastise Benjamin in a text message response over his use of the pejorative ethnic slur? (I guess she could have.)

:

It is a private conversation and we don't know her true personality. Benjamin is a d!(k, but maybe she is just agreeing with him because he is an unstable d!(k and upsetting him wouldn't be wise.

It's a lot like Bo being secretly recorded. Wasn't meant for the public but the public saw/heard it anyway and now we have to deal with it.

 

[Scratchtown]

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

"Everyone does it" is a lie people tell themselves to stamp down the hurt they feel when they know they've done something wrong.

Everyone does NOT do this. Everyone is NOT a racist in their hearts. Everyone does NOT casually use the "N" word in conversation, even when they think nobody is looking.

"You have all done the same thing..."

What a crock of crap. Who do you think you're kidding with this?

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

Man that's bullsh#t.
Granted, I think prying on this person's personal conversation and posting online is kinda bullsh#t, but if you think everyone is like this then maybe it's time to start surrounding yourself with different people.

You guys got pretty defensive. Which tells me I'm right. It's not bullspit. You have at sometime in your life used a word you probably shouldn't have. Whether racist or not, it can still be "offensive". Covers a humongous spectrum of words.

It might have been 30 years ago, but it was still done at some point. I absolutely refuse to believe you two are little perfect angels. My context had nothing to do with restricting the language to just racist remarks.

 

[Scratchtown]

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

I have, and it was wrong.

Me as well.

 

[Scratchtown]

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

Man that's bullsh#t.
Granted, I think prying on this person's personal conversation and posting online is kinda bullsh#t, but if you think everyone is like this then maybe it's time to start surrounding yourself with different people.

Bahaha!!! I never hear this language unless I'm around my father in law, who is a tin foil hat wearing trucker. I'm just a realist who understands people. I understand how the human brain works socially.

 

[jimk]

We don't know have any context but a picture. Giving her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't think that way someone else texted her that. She didn't respond with anything derogatory as far as I can tell. If someone were to text me calling a group of people name like that I would ignore it while keeping the conversation going. You can't correct or reason with someone who uses that term especially over texting. I don't think its right that she has ended up on the internet over this.

Anyone who says they don't talk like this or has never insulted anyone is full of crap too. You've never said a derogatory word about someone, ever? While you may not have said anything racially motivated you surely have called someone an idiot or a b!^@h or heaven forbid a retard. It happens we are people and we screw up. Why do we have to be offended by everything. Especially words.

 

[Red Dead Redemption]

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

Man that's bullsh#t.
Granted, I think prying on this person's personal conversation and posting online is kinda bullsh#t, but if you think everyone is like this then maybe it's time to start surrounding yourself with different people.

Bahaha!!! I never hear this language unless I'm around my father in law, who is a tin foil hat wearing trucker. I'm just a realist who understands people. I understand how the human brain works socially.

 

[NUance]

Couple of things. First, I am not a big fan of public shaming unless I am aware of the full context of the situation. A screenshot of a text conversation paints only a small picture. Even if it is an ugly one.

Second, I am glad this got out so that the public could see just how backwards and ignorant some people can be even in 2016. Winnebago used to be an armpit of a town that people would speed through as fast as they could. Now it is a thriving community that has proper leadership in place that helps the city grow while several of the predominantly white towns around it are seeing declining numbers of residents and jobs.

Also, it's the woman in white who is being public shamed. But she didn't use the objectionable term. So there's that.

I guess you could say that she tacitly accepted the term by not objecting to it. But it's a text message. What was she supposed to do, chastise Benjamin in a text message response over his use of the pejorative ethnic slur? (I guess she could have.)

:

It is a private conversation and we don't know her true personality. Benjamin is a d!(k, but maybe she is just agreeing with him because he is an unstable d!(k and upsetting him wouldn't be wise.

It's a lot like Bo being secretly recorded. Wasn't meant for the public but the public saw/heard it anyway and now we have to deal with it.

Now that you mention it, the Bo tape-gate scandal is similar inasmuch as they were both meant to be private conversations. Except Bo is a public figure who knows he's under constant public scrutiny. The woman in white is just someone who has an idiot friend who sends her inappropriate texts. (Don't we all have idiot friends like that?)

 

[zoogs]

Very possibly she doesn't actually regard Native Americans in as repugnant a way as these texts suggest, and that somehow she was completely oblivious to the weight of that particular word.

A lot of us make off-color jokes with our friends, or for more benefit of the doubt, don't pounce on them when they say something outrageous. That said, there's something specially vile about the n-word, or the n-word with either 'sand' or 'prairie' attached to it -- I think it's because we know there are people who think that way, and it's *not* mere history. "At least it was just words" doesn't begin to cover it, nor does the comparison to a word like 'retard', which is insensitive but not rooted in hate.

That said, for all we know, the next text this woman sent was "btw, don't talk like that" -- or maybe she didn't feel like texting the explanation and was intending to bring it up the next time they spoke in person. We don't know and really, I'm not interested in knowing. Like StPaul said, the reminder that these attitudes exist is useful in itself. Hopefully the takeaway is to reject those attitudes, and not to bemoan the fact that people take offense to these things.

 

[knapplc]

You guys got pretty defensive. Which tells me I'm right.

Well, that's a pretty silly way of looking at it. First, "defensive" is your interpretation. I'm not defensive, I'm telling you you're wrong. You interpreting that as defensive - especially because it fits your narrative - doesn't provide a truth, it shows a lack of understanding on your part.

Which then begs the question: What would a "No, you're wrong" answer that DOESN'T confirm your preconceived notion look like? What level of protestation is "too much" and thus proves the point? I'm genuinely curious what you would have accepted as an affirmation that The Dude and I don't harbor such thoughts without "telling you you're right" by sounding defensive.

 

[Scratchtown]

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

"Everyone does it" is a lie people tell themselves to stamp down the hurt they feel when they know they've done something wrong.

Everyone does NOT do this. Everyone is NOT a racist in their hearts. Everyone does NOT casually use the "N" word in conversation, even when they think nobody is looking.

"You have all done the same thing..."

What a crock of crap. Who do you think you're kidding with this?

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

Man that's bullsh#t.
Granted, I think prying on this person's personal conversation and posting online is kinda bullsh#t, but if you think everyone is like this then maybe it's time to start surrounding yourself with different people.

See Bolded

 

[zoogs]

I mean, we're not talking about people being raucous or inappropriate in private conversation. We're talking about people looking at Native Americans as 'prairie n***ers'.*

Everyone does that? We shouldn't have a problem with that view?

(* - the 'to-be-fair' caveat being we don't know if that accurately describes this woman)

 

[knapplc]

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

"Everyone does it" is a lie people tell themselves to stamp down the hurt they feel when they know they've done something wrong.

Everyone does NOT do this. Everyone is NOT a racist in their hearts. Everyone does NOT casually use the "N" word in conversation, even when they think nobody is looking.

"You have all done the same thing..."

What a crock of crap. Who do you think you're kidding with this?

In a private conversation who cares.

Poor word choice? Yep.

Something the world was suppose to see? No.

I have not problem with people using that language in a private conversation unless it is offensive to the person it's being told to. You all have done the same thing whether joking, or serious. Yet not been caught doing so. If you say you haven't....you are a liar.

Man that's bullsh#t.
Granted, I think prying on this person's personal conversation and posting online is kinda bullsh#t, but if you think everyone is like this then maybe it's time to start surrounding yourself with different people.

See Bolded

I disagree.

 

[knapplc]

There's a second thing to talk about in this situation that we haven't touched on yet.

We can set aside the discussion of racism for an entirely different conversation, and that is - does this woman deserve to have what she believed to be a private text photographed, grouped with her profile, and broadcast on the internet?

There's a sliding scale of expected privacy in the world. You expect MORE privacy in your bedroom and LESS privacy in public.

I think the discussion of privacy deserves its moment.

Certainly this woman is not behind closed doors. She's in public, in what was by all reports a pretty packed gym. Elbow to elbow in the stands, meaning that her expectations of privacy are less than if she was on a solitary park bench, on a beach by herself, or in her own home.

I had this discussion on the twitter last week when this photo came out, and by and large the responses to "What's her expectation of privacy here?" were: She should have none.

Is that the case? Do people here agree that her screen, especially in packed stands like this, is NOT private? Does she have a right to be offended that her screen was photographed and put on the internet?

I'm torn on this.

I don't believe that "Because we can presume she's bigoted, it's OK to put her text online." A bigot's screen is as private as anyone else's screen.

I don't believe that she should have 100% expectations of privacy.

I think it's possible be kinda wrong here, no matter which side of the spectrum you're on.

 

[zoogs]

I think legally she probably has no expectation of privacy. But documenting other people in public and disseminate that in a call for outrage on the internet ... is a d-bag thing to do.