'Mansplaining'

[zoogs]

Hey, you were getting hysterical. And maybe a bit shrill. You just come across as a little abrasive, you know? Shouldn't you be worrying about your makeup, or something? Now go make a sandwich (ha, ha, jokes). 

Am I doing this right?

 

[Landlord]

Bargaining/Haggling term based on the stereotype of Jewish people being cheap....

Full disclosure, I'd make a bet that if you were close to a lot of Jewish people who actually suffered from prejudice and hate in their lives, you'd probably eventually get to the point of, "Hmm, yeah, there's no reason I need to say that."

Also, there's not really a high level of sensitivity in this thread.

 

[teachercd]

Hey, you were getting hysterical. And maybe a bit shrill. You just come across as a little abrasive, you know? Shouldn't you be worrying about your makeup, or something? Now go make a sandwich (ha, ha, jokes). 

Am I doing this right?

Depends, what kind of sandwich?

 

[B.B. Hemingway]

Hey, you were getting hysterical. And maybe a bit shrill. You just come across as a little abrasive, you know? Shouldn't you be worrying about your makeup, or something? Now go make a sandwich (ha, ha, jokes). 

Am I doing this right?

terrible execution

Yeah, I got that ... but ... why would you say that?

No good reason, to be honest. Other than it's just the "term" used to describe that action/situation. 

 

[zoogs]

Ah, I see. Yeah, it has to be habit. I'm familiar with the stereotypes and the jokes around it, but never seen that term or heard actually used in person. I'm kind of shocked that it is (well, also not shocked) -- it seems way, way across the line. And to your credit, it certainly doesn't seem like being able to use this term without pushback is something valuable or precious to you.

 

[Kiyoat Husker]

No good reason, to be honest. Other than it's just the "term" used to describe that action/situation. 

I guess I would disagree that it is THE term used to describe that action.  There are certainly others just as apt.  Like: barter, haggle, bargain, etc.

My wife's family calls Brazil nuts "n!@@er toes".  Nobody really gets offended by it.  To them its quite harmless, but that's probably because they are all white and don't interact with many black people.

 

[teachercd]

Ah, I see. Yeah, it has to be habit. I'm familiar with the stereotypes and the jokes around it, but never seen that term or heard actually used in person. I'm kind of shocked that it is (well, also not shocked) -- it seems way, way across the line. And to your credit, it certainly doesn't seem like being able to use this term without pushback is something valuable or precious to you.

You have never heard that term used before in person?  Never?

That can't be true.  

 

[B.B. Hemingway]

I guess I would disagree that it is THE term used to describe that action.  There are certainly others just as apt.  Like: barter, haggle, bargain, etc.

My wife's family calls Brazil nuts "n!@@er toes".  Nobody really gets offended by it.  To them its quite harmless, but that's probably because they are all white and don't interact with many black people.

(I probably don't even what to open this door, but I will) Don't even get me started with the 'N' word. I've never made a habit of using the word (except when singing a lot to hip-hop music when I was in high school), but the way black people approach that word is among the most hypocritical approaches in our society. You (non-black person) can't ever utter that word. However, we'll (black people) throw it around freely, in an often endearing manner. 

Again, I have no desire to use that word. But if it's so terrible, and carries so much weight (and it does) why would they want to use it? It's insanely hypocritical, but it gets a pass because we'd hate to offend anyone.

(And before someone twist this around, this is not an argument to allow white people to say the 'N' word).

 

[NM11046]

I guess I would disagree that it is THE term used to describe that action.  There are certainly others just as apt.  Like: barter, haggle, bargain, etc.

My wife's family calls Brazil nuts "n!@@er toes".  Nobody really gets offended by it.  To them its quite harmless, but that's probably because they are all white and don't interact with many black people.

My family called them that as well - I remember, vividly the day it came out of my mouth as an adult and I realized how horrific it is.  Also, I was taught "eeny, meeny, miney mo - catcha a n!@@er by the toe, if he hollars ... " - again, I was probably 18 before I realized that word had meaning, and it wasn't good.  And that it wasn't neccessary, just bigoted and hurtful.  

 

[teachercd]

My family called them that as well - I remember, vividly the day it came out of my mouth as an adult and I realized how horrific it is.  Also, I was taught "eeny, meeny, miney mo - catcha a n!@@er by the toe, if he hollars ... " - again, I was probably 18 before I realized that word had meaning, and it wasn't good.  And that it wasn't neccessary, just bigoted and hurtful.  

I once was teaching middle schoolers and I asked what some of the kids did over the weekend...one girl raised her hand and said "me and my friends went N-bomb knocking" 

 

[Kiyoat Husker]

Again, I have no desire to use that word. But if it's so terrible, and carries so much weight (and it does) why would they want to use it? It's insanely hypocritical, but it gets a pass because we'd hate to offend anyone.

This is an interesting point.  I think one of the reasons we have a hard time understanding why some black people use that word, is that there is not an equivocally demeaning word for white people.  I can't think of a time in our (white american) history when we, as a group, have been similarly humiliated, marginalized, and dehumanized based on our race.

So words like "cracker" and "honkey" don't carry the same weight.

I guess an equivalent might be girls jovially calling each other "bitches".  Its about owning the word to take away its power over them.  Again, words matter.  Words have power.

I guess that's the point we are arguing.  You take the stance that people shoudn't get so offended by certain words.  I would argue that the words you think are harmless are actually very powerful to people who have been marginalized.  When words are attached to things like slavery or male-domination over women, for example.

 

[Mierin]

You have never heard that term used before in person?  Never?

That can't be true.  

It's weird to not have heard of it. But I've never heard it actually used for the purpose it's used for. I just knew that people used it.

 

[Mierin]

This is an interesting point.  I think one of the reasons we have a hard time understanding why some black people use that word, is that there is not an equivocally demeaning word for white people.  I can't think of a time in our (white american) history when we, as a group, have been similarly humiliated, marginalized, and dehumanized based on our race.

So words like "cracker" and "honkey" don't carry the same weight.

I guess an equivalent might be girls jovially calling each other "bitches".  Its about owning the word to take away its power over them.  Again, words matter.  Words have power.

Last paragraph, exactly!

It reduces the power of the word if they use it affectionately. It's a way of taking the word away from racist people and owning it.

I think no one should use it. But I understand the reason behind some Black people using it.

 

[teachercd]

It's weird to not have heard of it. But I've never heard it actually used for the purpose it's used for. I just knew that people used it.

Yeah, it might depend where you grow up.  I am not sure.  My best friend since about 4th grade is jewish (yet came to a catholic school with me for 8 years) and he used it all the time as a joke...and in reference to his father, over and over and over.  

Last paragraph, exactly!

It reduces the power of the word if they use it affectionately. It's a way of taking the word away from racist people and owning it.

I think no one should use it. But I understand the reason behind some Black people using it.

That is a super good comparison.  Girls do that all the time!  They use sluts too.  

 

[Mierin]

My family called them that as well - I remember, vividly the day it came out of my mouth as an adult and I realized how horrific it is.  Also, I was taught "eeny, meeny, miney mo - catcha a n!@@er by the toe, if he hollars ... " - again, I was probably 18 before I realized that word had meaning, and it wasn't good.  And that it wasn't neccessary, just bigoted and hurtful.  

Yikes. I've never heard that and I (yes I'm weird) eat a brasil nut every day.

Yeah, it might depend where you grow up.  I am not sure.  My best friend since about 4th grade is jewish (yet came to a catholic school with me for 8 years) and he used it all the time as a joke...and in reference to his father, over and over and over.  

That is a super good comparison.  Girls do that all the time!  They use sluts too.  

You're a slut.