Gender/Transgender In The Military & In General

Nebfanatic said:
Not to get off topic but I don't understand why we have to seperate the bathrooms in the first place. I've been in places with coed bathrooms and it was pretty much exactly the same as seperated bathrooms. Everyone is just in there to do their business. 
Click to expand...






It's so men won't find out that women go #2.

 
Nebfanatic said:
Not to get off topic but I don't understand why we have to seperate the bathrooms in the first place. I've been in places with coed bathrooms and it was pretty much exactly the same as seperated bathrooms. Everyone is just in there to do their business. 
Click to expand...


We had co-ed bathrooms in Abel on the co-ed floors while I was there, and there were zero problems. 

 
@Making Chimichangasholy f***sticks, I had no idea. Thank you for sharing and being open with us about who you are--that was truly incredible that you were willing to do so on this board. I'm fully in support of LBGTQ people, and I'm sorry to read how much s*** you're having to deal with so you can live comfortably and be who you truly are. 

Landlord said:
Hey MC, thank you so much for sharing and I'm really sorry about all the ridiculous and unnecessary hardships you've had to go through. I also feel like I understand you and your posts better after hearing a bit of your backstory. I've got more I want to say in this topic but I'm a bit too drunk for it right now and it's 4:45AM so I'm just hoping somebody will eventually quote me and I'll get a notification that will remind me to add more thoughts when I sober up. Cheers, friend.
Click to expand...
NM11046 said:
Consider this your tickler to call me back sober to comment .... 
Click to expand...


What nationality is this tickler that you speak of? Inquiring minds want to know...

 
Last edited by a moderator:
M Chimi,

Thanks for the post.  

I grew up in a small town in Nebraska and went off to college with the attitude about gay people that is typical of people who are ignorant.  I would make stupid jokes or comments about them without even thinking.

Then, I got a job working at a place where unbeknownst to me, I was working with some gay people.  Early on, I know I said some things that hurt them.  I honestly didn't know they were gay at the time and I was an idiot.  Then, one day, a coworker nicely confronted me about it and I felt horrible.  Then, while working there, I got to know them much better and became friends.  Through this experience, I was able to learn more about what they go through in their lives and also realize, how normal they live they want to live their lives.  One of them was a lesbian due to the fact she was brutally raped by a boy in high school and she simply could never trust another man again.  How in the world can I be so judgmental about someone who is living their life this way because of that?  Her story had a profound affect on my attitude towards anyone like this.

Ever since then, I have done everything I can to support LBGT.

 
Really glad you had the courage to make that post MC. I think we all know you're a very passionate person, and it's good to see where some of that comes from.

I will freely admit to being one of those people who would snicker and laugh at someone who was cross dressing (I hope that's an ok term, because I don't know the correct one, and I don't know if those people are actually transitioning or not). I did it a couple years ago when I was in Chicago and stumbled onto Friday night in Boys Town on our way to Wrigley. It's a culture shock to a guy who grew up in Nebraska, and I didn't know what else to do. I used the three letter F word in vain when I was younger, and on rare occasion I slip up and use it in private still, and I regret that I say it everytime. I've made a conscious effort to try to remove it from my vocabulary though.

I've seen a coworker (not someone I've ever interacted with before though) transition from female to male, and it's a strange thing to me. Though not as strange as it probably is for the person undergoing the change I'm sure. Something like puberty all over again I would imagine. I wouldn't know how to react if I worked with them closely other than to ignore the  obvious, and I don't know if that is right or wrong. The reality is they are still a person, and I wouldn't treat them any differently or less because of who they wish to become, and that's something I've learned from afar.

I'm kind of rambling, but my point in writing is to try to give you some hope about our culture. People can change their behaviors and attitudes. I am a small example of that. It will be slow and painful at times, but an open discussion is the only way myself and others can learn the errors of our ways and gain a new perspective. So, I really appreciate you sharing your story. It helps to humanize the situation.

 
ZRod said:
 I'm kind of rambling, but my point in writing is to try to give you some hope about our culture. People can change their behaviors and attitudes. I am a small example of that. It will be slow and painful at times, but an open discussion is the only way myself and others can learn the errors of our ways and gain a new perspective. So, I really appreciate you sharing your story. It helps to humanize the situation.
Click to expand...
Humans are a product of their upbringing and it usually takes leaving that bubble for one to find out how ignorant they truly are.

 
Landlord said:
Hey MC, thank you so much for sharing and I'm really sorry about all the ridiculous and unnecessary hardships you've had to go through. I also feel like I understand you and your posts better after hearing a bit of your backstory. I've got more I want to say in this topic but I'm a bit too drunk for it right now and it's 4:45AM so I'm just hoping somebody will eventually quote me and I'll get a notification that will remind me to add more thoughts when I sober up. Cheers, friend.
Click to expand...


It was actually pretty cathartic to make that post.  Just to get a bunch of those things off my mind and into a forum where they can be discussed.  I've also made an effort to reel in some of my opinions that tended to paint a little too broadly.  But yeah, I can definitely see how knowing some of my background gives some context to things I've said.  So hopefully you'll remember what you wanted to say when you're sober.

 
BigRedBuster said:
M Chimi,

Thanks for the post.  

I grew up in a small town in Nebraska and went off to college with the attitude about gay people that is typical of people who are ignorant.  I would make stupid jokes or comments about them without even thinking.

Then, I got a job working at a place where unbeknownst to me, I was working with some gay people.  Early on, I know I said some things that hurt them.  I honestly didn't know they were gay at the time and I was an idiot.  Then, one day, a coworker nicely confronted me about it and I felt horrible.  Then, while working there, I got to know them much better and became friends.  Through this experience, I was able to learn more about what they go through in their lives and also realize, how normal they live they want to live their lives.  One of them was a lesbian due to the fact she was brutally raped by a boy in high school and she simply could never trust another man again.  How in the world can I be so judgmental about someone who is living their life this way because of that?  Her story had a profound affect on my attitude towards anyone like this.

Ever since then, I have done everything I can to support LBGT.
Click to expand...


I appreciate the support.   :thumbs

Like you, I also grew up in a small Nebraska town so I know all too well how that works.  

The best part about what you said was that when your co-worker talked to you about it, the "light" came on and you made a choice to be better and more understanding.  That's absolutely commendable.

I believe that calmly and rationally talking to people goes so much farther than being a wacko and constantly berating people.  I've always been open to people who want to know about Trans issues.  We get better results through education than anger and blaming.  That was a lesson I also had to learn.  ;)

 
ZRod said:
Really glad you had the courage to make that post MC. I think we all know you're a very passionate person, and it's good to see where some of that comes from.

I will freely admit to being one of those people who would snicker and laugh at someone who was cross dressing (I hope that's an ok term, because I don't know the correct one, and I don't know if those people are actually transitioning or not). I did it a couple years ago when I was in Chicago and stumbled onto Friday night in Boys Town on our way to Wrigley. It's a culture shock to a guy who grew up in Nebraska, and I didn't know what else to do. I used the three letter F word in vain when I was younger, and on rare occasion I slip up and use it in private still, and I regret that I say it everytime. I've made a conscious effort to try to remove it from my vocabulary though.

I've seen a coworker (not someone I've ever interacted with before though) transition from female to male, and it's a strange thing to me. Though not as strange as it probably is for the person undergoing the change I'm sure. Something like puberty all over again I would imagine. I wouldn't know how to react if I worked with them closely other than to ignore the  obvious, and I don't know if that is right or wrong. The reality is they are still a person, and I wouldn't treat them any differently or less because of who they wish to become, and that's something I've learned from afar.

I'm kind of rambling, but my point in writing is to try to give you some hope about our culture. People can change their behaviors and attitudes. I am a small example of that. It will be slow and painful at times, but an open discussion is the only way myself and others can learn the errors of our ways and gain a new perspective. So, I really appreciate you sharing your story. It helps to humanize the situation.
Click to expand...


If you're working in close proximity to someone who is trans, my suggestion is to not "ignore" the obvious.  I say that because what you think is obvious may in fact be wrong.  I think most trans people, if you approach them respectfully, are happy to help cis-folks and educate them.  Now certainly not all trans people are that way so it really is a case by case basis.  I think the best thing you, or anyone who is cis, can do is call the person by whatever pronoun they prefer.  Start there.  It's an incredibly small thing, using the correct pronoun, but it genuinely does make all the difference.

And to your point about change coming slowly...I hear you.  Unfortunately here is the US we seem to be regressing under the current administration.  But I also like to believe that this is just a small hiccup and as trans people become more out and open, that it'll soon become not that gig of a deal.  Oh sure there'll probably always be pockets of ignorance, but hopefully it'll continue to shrink.

And like I have said to others, I really do appreciate the support.  It really does mean a lot.

 
@NM11046, I never really heard about any trans military service members being mistreated, so I don't think it's really an issue.  General Mattis doesn't seem to think trans people are an issue or problem from what I have read either.  I think trans people in the military is only an issue for people who think that trans people shouldn't exist at all.  The rest of us think it's no big deal.

I actually think being trans in the military is actually better than the larger society.  In the military, the only thing most people care about is: can you do your job?  When the pooh hits the fan (as in combat) can you be relied upon to fight for the person to your left and right?  If the answer to both those questions are yes, then I would expect no issues--for the most part.

I obviously do not like the new ruling.  The US has an all volunteer military and to not allow all able bodied people to serve if they want to is, in my estimation, foolish.  And I think most young people enlisting in the military today are okay with trans people serving beside them; as long as said trans person can, to use an old adage, carry their own weight.   

 
One of the things I wanted to touch on was politics.  Being transgender is weird politically because there is the expectation that we're all supposed to adhere to the far-left dogma.  Certainly the most vocal of my trans sisters tend to be pretty far out there in left field.  I am liberal overall, but I also have some incredibly right-views also.  For example, guns; when it comes to my guns, the authorities can have them only after they've pried them from my cold, dead, fingers.

I also lean right on fiscal policy and taxes.  But I balance that with the belief that regulation by government, done responsibly, is absolutely vital because companies cannot be trusted to do the right thing on their own.  Sans regulations they will endanger employees lives, they will dump their waste into rivers, lakes, streams, etc, and they certainly will cheat their employees financially.  

Opinion: A poor person "steals" from a rich person and it is called theft and a crime.  A rich person steals from a poor person and it is called business.

 
Back
Top