A year ago i had a friend killed by a abusive boyfriend. She hid it well, reading over the eulogy i realized something right now. This is a abusive relationship. Continuously putting effort into something that just keeps hurting you over and over again while thinking/hoping it will change. It wasnt until my mom threw my stepfather out of the house for alcohol abuse that he was able to turn his life around and recommence wit us some 15 years latter. I cannot do this anymore, i can live with losing, i can live with the negativity of living with iowa fans. I cant be lied to anymore about how things are turning around, how things are getting better, how we need to trust the process. Im not a fairweather fan, ive weathered the storm. Im deciding to get out of the boat.