Look what Husker Fans just bought ISU!!!
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Cy the Cyclone
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And we certainly do thank you! Those clowns from Iowa only managed to provide us with enough money for a $19 million upgrade (cheap bastards...not real football fans) but between our supportive schools in the B12 (NU, KU and MU) we're going to make sure you have all the comforts and aminities you need to watch a good a$$-whuppin in Ames. With this upgrade, we'll be on level with other football powerhouses in the area like Kent State, Toledo and, dare we dream, Bethune Cookman!
By the way...one of those luxury boxes is destined to be MINE so make sure you buy your season ticket today...and encourage your friends to do the same.
HuskerfaninOkieland
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In reference to the KSU thread, you might want to consider using the "edit" button :lol:
Cy the Cyclone
New member
I'm an ISU fan...that alone speaks volumes about my intelligense.... <_<
HuskerfaninOkieland
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:laughpound
"Iowa State University of Science and Technology". Enough said.
Not to mention the first computer was constructed there.
Cy the Cyclone
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BIGREDIOWAN
Mods
Why do they want to add seats when they have a hard enough time filling the stadium now??? :dunno
Blackshirt316
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Clearly the people in Iowa think lots of empty seats are pretty to look at and add ambiance to what could up till now be called one of the worst three stadiums in the conference.
Apathy
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Cy the Cyclone
New member
This internal memo I received a while ago should clear the whole thing up for you:
From: Jamie Pollard
To: Stadium Expansion Committee
Greetings:
I am sure you are all aware of the survey that our staff recently submitted pointing out that 80% of our football fan base can be classified as “mildly to grossly obese” (this reflects the total enrollment and statewide demographic trends of our state by the way…please refer to appendix IV). While this has contributed greatly to our program’s income from concessions and beer consumption…not to mention the corporate sponsorships that have streamed in from Hostess, Little Debbie and Crispy Crème among others…it is my belief we can do more.
I recently read with interest that some of the airlines are now charging obese people for two seats when they book flights on their airlines. I feel this is a great idea and hope to implement this into our expansion plans. As it is today, we get approximately 40,000 fans attending our home football games…32,000, according to our survey, fall into the “obese” category. Each attendee is now charged for one seat…but, once we expand the stadium and implement the “Pollard Fly Me” strategy, these 40,000 people would now be required to purchase 72,000 seats….8000 single seats for the normal sized individuals and 64,000 seats for those “obese” fans who would be required to buy two seats to accommodate their size. Any investment made in the expansion of Jack Trice Stadium will be more than offset by the “Pollard Fly Me” strategy, leading to more profitability to the program with a minimum of effort by my department.
Future plans…including drawings indicating where the cattle scales will be installed at all gates…will soon be forthcoming.
Regards
Jamie Pollard
Admit it...the man is brilliant!
From: Jamie Pollard
To: Stadium Expansion Committee
Greetings:
I am sure you are all aware of the survey that our staff recently submitted pointing out that 80% of our football fan base can be classified as “mildly to grossly obese” (this reflects the total enrollment and statewide demographic trends of our state by the way…please refer to appendix IV). While this has contributed greatly to our program’s income from concessions and beer consumption…not to mention the corporate sponsorships that have streamed in from Hostess, Little Debbie and Crispy Crème among others…it is my belief we can do more.
I recently read with interest that some of the airlines are now charging obese people for two seats when they book flights on their airlines. I feel this is a great idea and hope to implement this into our expansion plans. As it is today, we get approximately 40,000 fans attending our home football games…32,000, according to our survey, fall into the “obese” category. Each attendee is now charged for one seat…but, once we expand the stadium and implement the “Pollard Fly Me” strategy, these 40,000 people would now be required to purchase 72,000 seats….8000 single seats for the normal sized individuals and 64,000 seats for those “obese” fans who would be required to buy two seats to accommodate their size. Any investment made in the expansion of Jack Trice Stadium will be more than offset by the “Pollard Fly Me” strategy, leading to more profitability to the program with a minimum of effort by my department.
Future plans…including drawings indicating where the cattle scales will be installed at all gates…will soon be forthcoming.
Regards
Jamie Pollard
Admit it...the man is brilliant!
hskerholic
New member
And I do believe that Iowa State Helped build the atomic bomb dropped on Japan in WWII