BREAKING: Mike Riley and Bo Pelini caught assaulting a Chimpanzee

If Nebraska is going to win a couple things need to happen:

1. Win the turnover battle. Wisky doesn't make many, but the blackshirts have to force some mistakes and the offense needs to minimize them. 

2. The defense also needs to make some key stops. We're probably not going to shut down the running game, but forcing field goals and getting a couple stops on 3rd down will go a long way. 

3. Special teams need to be special, or at least average. Got to win field position. 

Sounds simple, unfortunately Wisconsin has been good at playing consistent football without beating themselves for 20+ years while Nebraska has been the model of finding ways to lose.


4. Act of God. 

 
As a badger fan perusing the board this week, I assumed the OP was asking why the Badgers have losses. Alas, if only wishing made it so we could avoid those things. To answer the question, I thought I would cover all the Badger losses in the Paul Chryst era in reverse chronological order:

2018: BYU 21-24. Ugh. Missed a late FG to tie, but shouldn't have been in that position in the first place

2017: OSU 21-27 (B1G CG). Had the ball in buckeye territory with a chance to win as time was waning, got called for holding on a pass where PI probably should have been called - would have been offsetting and not forced UW to convert a longer down and distance (which, anyone could tell you, is not UW's forte).

2016: PSU 31-38 (B1G CG). Raced out to a huge lead and let McSorely come back and beat us in the end

2016: OSU 20-23 (OT). We had'em, gosh darnit.

2016: @ Michy 7-14. Defensive struggle where Michy had one long pass play to make the difference

2015: NW 7-13. Still mad. Badgers scored to take the lead late, but overturned as refs ruled ball hit ground after three steps out of bounds and WR falling to the ground - he had control, gosh darnit.

2015: Iowa 6-10. Badgers fumbled on the one yard line going in for a score. Hawkeyes run the table, but lose in the B1G CG and Rose Bowl.

2015: Alabama 17-35 (@ Jerryworld, and Chryst's first game). Uh, yeah. Alabama good. UW was in it for awhile, but big plays doomed Bucky that night.

That's it. I hadn't realized that Chryst's teams have only lost one true road game so far. So, you guys getting us in Madison is a break! Also hadn't realized they were all one possession games (except 'Bama).

So, when it comes to this week's game, I am worried about your offense against our defense - we have not been up to our standards, especially on the perimeter. And I am worried our offense has been its own worst enemy with both the play calling and untimely penalties - we are not a high-scoring offense and I fear we might need to be this week. Anyway, keep your collective chin up, I think better days are ahead for you (yeah, low bar at the moment, but you get what I mean). 


Can you please stay on topic? Mike Riley and Bo Pelini assaulted a chimpanzee, we don’t want to hear about your Badgers 

 
A poem from our old friend Faux Pelini

Roses are red
Michigan’s blue
Because Harbaugh was hired
To beat OSU

But instead all he does
Is yell and call names
On his way to losing 
Another five games

Key recruits who commit
End up changing their mind 
With an enthusiasm unknown 
To all of mankind

Even real Bo Pelini
Beat the Buckeyes by seven
In a rally in Lincoln 
Back in 2011

But real Bo got fired 
Despite that big win
Now Harbaugh is feeling 
The ice getting thin

Michigan natives are restless
They cry B!t(h and whine
But Ohio State peeps
Think he’s doing just fine

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sigh...this is my fault isn't it? 


Yes, yes it is. Thank you.

giphy.gif


 
Back
Top