Blackshirtsguru
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This is my version! :asshat Below! :woo

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WinnerDue to recent rape allegations and whispers of not being able to field a team in 07', the Dean of Colorado University has kicked off the campaign "Do Like Dolly" which asks all females on campus to be more open minded to sexual advances from Colorado Football players.
Poll added..New caption contest... Don't forget to vote for your favorite cap for the last one, Poll: Caption Contest LXIX
Best caption gets a $1 Husker buck!
Rules and stuff here: Fark, Caption & Riddle Contests