Applying logical thought to a situation where someone is depressed enough to actually kill themselves doesn't really work. It's essentially the same as attempting to project your own thoughts onto a serial killer and then wondering why they're so mean they feel the need to kill people. Serial killers do not think like you do (presumably), and neither do people who are depressed enough to kill themselves.
Good point. I guess I'm looking far too deep into it...or either not deep enough.
Think of it this way, and maybe it'll help you realize how devastating mental illness is. This guy had a wonderful wife and 2 beautiful twin daughters, and yet he killed himself because he didn't feel he was worth their time.
I can not stand it when people say suicide is selfish. In their mind, they're killing themselves out of compassion for their loved ones. In their mind, their loved ones should not have to be burdened by a failure. It's not selfish. It's anything but.
[SIZE=14.4444446563721px]As someone who only suffers from a mild diagnosis of depression and anxiety, but has a wife and a best friend who have severe cases and are medicated, I can speak to this quite a bit from various different levels.[/SIZE]
The quote above comes pretty close but doesn't quite encapsulate it, not for any other reason than depression/anxiety is very hard to truly describe and very very hard to understand, sometimes even for me when I have only a mild diagnosis. The way I described it to my therapist was to imagine the absolute worst day of your life. It could be anything, usually I equate it to losing someone very, very close to you, like the love of your life. Or maybe, dying alone without anyone there to help. The heartbreak, pain, helplessness, feeling lost, and worthless, all those emotions. Then imagine feeling that way every single minute, every single hour, of every single day. No matter what you do, your brain takes you back to those feelings, those thoughts and you have absolutely no control. You then bottle it up out of fear of embarrassment in front of others. You say absolutely nothing about it. Then for the anxiety folks, panic sets in. I am talking "Fight or Flight mode" and you just pounded a kilo of amphetamines. You get very scared. More scared than ever (or what feels like ever) and the panic absolutely takes over your mind and now your body too. You actually start developing symptoms of a heart attack just from panic alone and you literally feel like you are going to die.
Yet you have absolutely no control.
Every minute. Every hour. Every day.
And that is just how I felt, with my mild case. It's simple to think that you can just change your thoughts and it will go away but I can assure you, while even I think that at times, that's definitely not how it works. Your brain has placed you on an airplane at 35,000 feet, the plane just lost cabin pressure and all its engines are dead and its crashing whether you like it or not.
My wife, has severe panic attacks when she is in the kitchen alone because she thinks she is going to poison the food and kill everyone that eats it and not realize she did it. You know, sorta like when you are driving for a while, sorta space out and then all of a sudden you are 50 miles down the road. My best friend and I have the same trigger, death in general. Anything death related can throw us into a spiral. Others I have heard have other triggers that may seem just as ridiculous but are triggers nonetheless.
The biggest thing anyone can do is show compassion. You won't understand and it will likely seem ridiculous why. If you can, recognize the signs and get to that person who is suffering before suicide and try to talk with them. Let it happen naturally but getting them to talk helps for a number of reasons, one it helps drop them out of panic mode, two it releases a lot of pressure, three it gets them to open up about what is happening. It's easy to say a therapist can do all that but we as family and friends are the front lines and often depressed people will deny that kind of care. Helping a sufferer understand what is happening can help them figure out their triggers, what things help when panic/depressed mode sets in and also can be a solid gateway to the suggestion that there is a problem and it is more than okay to seek help. You should go to absolutely ANY LENGTHS to help someone you know that may be struggling.
My best friend for example...we went to DQ with our wives one night and halfway through a panic attack set in. He completely shut down, walked outside and didn't say a word, which completely freaks his wife out. After sitting on the curb in the parking lot for quite a while he gets up without saying a word and just starts walking and without hesitation I follow him, our wives stay behind. We ended up walking back to his house, over 6 miles away, sometime after 10pm in shorts and t-shirts and flip flops on a cool fall night. I walked with him for a couple miles before he said anything to me and when he finally started talking, that is when he really opened up and just let it all out. We talked about every last detail of his struggle and mine and it was that night that he realized it was time to take control and get help. If that is what it takes for me to help anyone, that is what I will do and I encourage all of you to do the same.
I am only saying all this to show how serious it is and how sufferers can be helped and overcome depression and anxiety. It will be very hard and will take a lot of work but it can happen. No one has to die.
The big thing to remember is depressed or anxious is not who they are, depression and anxiety is just something they have.
