This is a really interesting thread. Glad it popped up as tops in this subforum on the front page or I never would've found it.
Depression is a horrible thing. Minnesota nailed it when he said it can simply be a chemical imbalance. At least in the case of folks who have the misfortune of recurrent depression. Every brain is unique. They do not work the same and certain ones require medication to even out such imbalances.
My mom suffers from a lot of mental disorders. She has suffered from ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder and alcoholism to varying degrees over the course of her life. A lot of it has to do with being unhappy with circumstances insofar as her relationship with my dad and her job, but those cannot account for everything. If you have not had to experience living with someone who has untreated mood disorders, it can be very frustrating. She is on meds for her ADHD and depression I believe but may not be taking anything for her bipolar disorder. I do not know the specifics of whether she has officially been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, prescribed meds for it, is taking them... etc.
However, the symptoms as far as mood swings from manic to depressed are clear as day to me when I spend an extended period of time back home. She tends to have lower "highs" which more seem just along the lines of a normal person's average mood, but long, spiraling bouts of lows interspersed quite frequently. It does not take very much to trigger a bout with depression-- one argument with someone, one single spoken sentence, or sometimes no apparent action at all causes them. I think perhaps in those cases she is just getting wrapped up in her own thoughts.
My dad and I both agree that we think she should reevaluate her medications and perhaps have them modified to keep her more even-keel. But it is extremely hard to recommend anything to her because when we do, she flies off the handle and takes it as a personal attack or statement that we think something is wrong with her.
To be clear, I do not. It makes me very upset as I do not want anything but the best for my parents and all of my family. It troubles me a lot when I think about her struggles and the affect it has on everyone else in my family. She too tried to kill herself one night, but that was during the worst times of her battle with alcoholism and she was very intoxicated.
It sounds sort of selfish, but I am glad I am not living at home anymore. I know that is nothing out of the ordinary, but I wish it was not because of these special circumstances. I can see it in my younger brothers as well-- they are always trying to leave the house to go spend every second of free time with friends or working or whatnot.
I'm very thankful genetics was kind to me. I believe I inherited a spot of ADD from her-- I'm not hyper by any means but can be very forgetful and easily distracted. However, I do not believe I inherited the depression or bipolar disorder from her, and I do not wish to test my luck, so I do not drink. But I am just tremendously happy to not have either of the depressive disorders, because I have seen firsthand for years the toll it has taken on her, along with the alcoholism. These disorders all kind of interlaced and had a profoundly difficult effect on my mother's life. I truly pity her for what she has gone through and continues to go through.
Living with someone with depression or any other mood disorder can be exhausting. But you have to be patient and remember exactly what IceDavis said.... it is not WHO they are, it is something they HAVE.
It may be easy to rush to point the finger if they are in the dumps and/or make corresponding irrational decisions. But just remember they did not choose to be affected by their disorder. No one would choose such a fate. The lack of knowledge and stigma in our society about these disorders is astounding, and I really wish more people were exposed to these different perspectives.
Sorry for rambling guys.
