*** HB Misc Topic bullsh#t Thread ***

Oh, The Onion. You never fail to entertain.

NCAA Investigating God For Giving Gifts To Athletes

INDIANAPOLIS—Amid a new scandal that many are already calling the most damaging in the history of collegiate sports, the NCAA announced Tuesday that it has launched an investigation into God, Divine Creator of Heaven and Earth, for allegedly giving gifts to student-athletes.

Reports indicated that over the past several decades, the Almighty has provided hundreds of players from high-profile Division I football and basketball programs with abundant natural speed, strength, and agility, and both the universities and the players themselves are now said to be facing heavy sanctions and punishments.

“We take these allegations incredibly seriously and are doing everything in our power to determine the precise nature of God’s relationship with these college athletes,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. “There is mounting evidence that the Lord—in blatant violation of NCAA rules and regulations—bestowed upon these players special and innate athletic abilities that other students never received.”
 
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Someone hoaxed Ask Amy with ‘Seinfeld’ plot

The Washington Post POSTED: TUESDAY, JANUARY 26, 2016 1:00 AM

A person writing under the name “Feeling Foolish” asked her how to handle a situation involving a “famous local sports figure” he met in his gym locker room, who then goes on to date his ex-girlfriend. Yes, this is basically the plot to Seinfeld’s “The Boyfriend” (parts one and two), starring baseball player Keith Hernandez.

LINK
That Keith Hernandez, he's no friend. He's just an opportunist who keeps asking you for stuff..
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