*** HB Misc Topic bullsh#t Thread ***

TGrandma's boyfriend 

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
 
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said,
 
'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'

Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.
 
I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
 
The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh
 
... I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
 
She started
adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
 
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.
 
The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?' 

The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'

The minister fainted.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
A father said to his daughter “You have graduated with honors, here is a car I bought many years ago. It is pretty old now. But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you for it.”
The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because the said it looks pretty worn out.”
The father said, now “Take it to the pawn shop.” The daughter went to the pawn shop, returned to her father and said,”The pawn shop offered only $100 because it is an old car.”
The father asked his daughter to go to a car club now and show them the car. The daughter then took the car to the club, returned and told her father,” Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it because “it's an iconic car and sought by many collectors.”
Now the father said this to his daughter, “The right place values you the right way,” If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you......Never stay in a place where no one sees your value. #knowyourworth

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What, no guillotine option?  

I think I'd go for the firing squad.  Electric chair and lethal injection both sound pretty gruesome.  

 
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