HuskerBoard vs. Captain Derp and the Derptastics

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MLB 51 said:
I nominate you for nominating him. I had no problem with that thread. Beck needs to do a better job.
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Ah, here comes MLB 51 valiantly running to walksalone's rescue once again. Isn't that precious? Not that anyone could blame you. I think we all remember our first love.

Mine was the spirited Shelby Wendover, I remember her voice during the morning announcements. It was like a warm campfire on a frosty night. She could have been saying anything, but every boy in school was thinking the same thing. Hers was a classic kind of beauty. The kind you normally see in old-timey black and white movies.

She could have had anyone she wanted. And who was I? I was just some punk kid from the wrong side of the tracks. How could I possibly have any chance with a girl like that? I was madly in love with her from the first moment I saw her. I think everyone was. That was the problem. My best friend, Danny Douglas, was also in love with her. Dan was the kind of guy who could get girls like that. He was the star football player, honor roll student, and I remember he drove a cherry 1970 Chevelle SS. He was also one hell of a snappy dresser.

It all came to a head on that fateful Homecoming night. That night, before the big game, I finely worked up the courage to tell Shelby how I felt about her. She didn't know what to say, but she knew she had a decision to make. She and Dan were set to be crowned Homecoming royalty, and everyone just knew it was to be the beginning of one of those classic high school romances.

Dan had his best game of the season that night. When it was said and done, he had rushed for nearly 350 yards. Shattering the school record and leading us to victory over our arch rival, Pumpernickel High. I was part of an offensive line that had its struggles against the best defensive front 7 in the state. But it didn't matter. Dan was a god amongst boys that night. Darting and dancing around defenders as if they were wearing cinder blocks for shoes. As he stood on that field after the game, I'll be goddamned if he didn't appear to be 10 feet tall. He was like some mutant hybrid of James Dean, Elvis Presley, and John Wayne.

So as his Homecoming queen approached him, my heart sank. I knew what everyone else knew, Shelby was going to meet him at the 50-yard-line, in a passionate embrace. I felt genuinely happy for my friend, but saddened by what could have been.

Then something peculiar happened.

As if by a twist of fate, with all eyes fixed on the star of the evening, Shelby sauntered past him as if he wasn't even there. I can only imagine the faces of the townsfolk as she instead embraced that big lug from the other side of town. Because, although there must have been a thousand people on that field, for that brief moment, it was just her and I. We just as well could have been the only two people on the planet.

The tragedy of that following summer is one that still haunts me. But Shelby lives on in my memories, and I will always have that kiss.

But I digress.

The point is, that love between you and walksalone is special. It might be the single most important and meaningful thing in the entirety of the human experience. Don't let anyone try to tell you that you can't have that. No government entity, no angry mob of Christian fundamentalists, no disapproving parent. Nobody.

walksalone said:
hey sportsfan, you're 5 years too late... like the majority of your points...

I used to think you were all right, but I'm thinking you've been a Huskerpedia double agent...
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And you.

1252480241_stephen_colbert.gif


Get your act together, mister. You're better than that.

 
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