"Coach, Coach! Jeremy here from 'HB - I mean, Not telling!'...... but don't you realize you need to run the wishbone or spread-bone 70 times a game to be successful like Tom Osborne's did, and just look at Army and Air Force??! blah blah blah!!!!"
"Coach! Coach! Hey. Thanks for calling on me. I'm a big message board poster -- a bit of a legend actually -- and I came here to ask you a really cool and snarky question that shows how much I know about Nebraska football and exposes you out as an Outsider, but now that you're looking at me and the cameras are on and everyone is watching I'm going to urinate a bit down my leg and quickly sit down."
Matty, yer can start callin' me The Sock. It don't matter nun' where I from. Did yer by any chance get talkin' to them Big Wigs yet? How bout' dat Cable Guy? The Source tellin' me yer be buyin' sum Golden Tee game from them Fancy Pants Ginger Assassin Pokey Frog Corn Lover. I ain't been havin' too much corn lately. Tuff on The Gut. Don't seem no good. The Fellas thinkin' so too. Back to the important stuff, how was yer Turkey Day?