'Mansplaining'

[B.B. Hemingway]

This is an interesting point.  I think one of the reasons we have a hard time understanding why some black people use that word, is that there is not an equivocally demeaning word for white people.  I can't think of a time in our (white american) history when we, as a group, have been similarly humiliated, marginalized, and dehumanized based on our race.

So words like "cracker" and "honkey" don't carry the same weight.

I guess an equivalent might be girls jovially calling each other "bitches".  Its about owning the word to take away its power over them.  Again, words matter.  Words have power.

I guess that's the point we are arguing.  You take the stance that people shoudn't get so offended by certain words.  I would argue that the words you think are harmless are actually very powerful to people who have been marginalized.  When words are attached to things like slavery or male-domination over women, for example.

"Owing the word", and "taking away it's power" have always seemed like bogus excuses to me. If the word carries so much pain within your race why would you want to call each other that? It's okay to call it hypocritical..... 

The world would like us to believe we can't be critical of the formerly marginalized, but we can. It's okay.

 

[Landlord]

I don't know why every liberal is so hell-bent on fighting every little stereotype out there. They're in for an uphill battle. A losing one too.

Even though this premise isn't even accurate, it seems you're entirely mistaken as far as the bold goes. Liberalism is the crazy kind of thing that led to the civil rights movement, women being able to vote, gay marriage becoming legalized, and so on. 

The losing side of the battle is the side that gets upset and digs their heels into their ideology after it's been exposed as being antiquated, or culture has learned a better way of moving forward. 

 

[Mierin]

I don't know why every liberal is so hell-bent on fighting every little stereotype out there.

Can we try not to veer too far into politics in this topic? I know it's in the politics & religion forum, and I think it's the best place for it, but we can argue that stuff in the 500 other topics here. This shouldn't be an issue of conservatism vs liberalism, anyway. I'm not sure why it is.

As for the grain of sand comment, we've been over it, but it was an example that shows how pervasive and subconscious this stuff is. It's not the one small example that matters.

 

[BigRedBuster]

Why did you ask me why women think it's demeaning?

I understand why the conversation is odd or uncomfortable. But, I wasn't the one that brought up the terms. 

And, the terms are only viewed differently because some people obviously think one is demeaning while the other isn't. 

So, that leads to the question.....why is that?

and, I'm not only asking you. 

 

[JJ Husker]

I could cut to the chase and settle this whole deal for you all but I'm not sure I could dumb down the explanation enough for you to understand due to your particular genders.

 

[BigRedBuster]

Why, indeed, do we live in a world where "things women do" is used to demean other people but "things men do" is not? 

That's sort of to my point. 

 

[Mierin]

I could cut to the chase and settle this whole deal for you all but I'm not sure I could dumb down the explanation enough for you to understand due to your particular genders.

I have doubts to whether you're really capable of that, seeing as you're a man.

 

[B.B. Hemingway]

Even though this premise isn't even accurate, it seems you're entirely mistaken as far as the bold goes. Liberalism is the crazy kind of thing that led to the civil rights movement, women being able to vote, gay marriage becoming legalized, and so on. 

The losing side of the battle is the side that gets upset and digs their heels into their ideology after it's been exposed as being antiquated, or culture has learned a better way of moving forward. 

Jesus. There's a difference between a stereotype, and actual inequality. There are even a few for white men (white men can't jump, white people can't dance) and somehow we've still found a way to rule the world! :sarcasm

You're so quick to paint anybody that questions your position as a bigot standing in the way of equality. As I've stated before, I have two daughters. So the the world they're growing up in certainly matters to me, as does what kind of obstacles they might face.

-- And the premise of "liberals fighting every little stereotype" is incredibly accurate(no further elaboration on that is needed).

 

[Mierin]

I understand why the conversation is odd or uncomfortable. But, I wasn't the one that brought up the terms. 

And, the terms are only viewed differently because some people obviously think one is demeaning while the other isn't. 

So, that leads to the question.....why is that?

and, I'm not only asking you. 

It's not uncomfortable for me. And I'll reply once my fiancé gets off my computer. Men are the worst sometimes.

 

[Mierin]

-- And the premise of "liberals fighting every little stereotype" is incredibly accurate.

Please stop. I'm asking politely that this not turn into a politics discussion.

 

[B.B. Hemingway]

^ I was already in the middle of that before I seen you're post (in my defense)

 

[teachercd]

I could cut to the chase and settle this whole deal for you all but I'm not sure I could dumb down the explanation enough for you to understand due to your particular genders.

I find this offensive...I think.

 

[B.B. Hemingway]

I have doubts to whether you're really capable of that, seeing as you're a man.

 

[zoogs]

That's sort of to my point. 

The answer's pretty obvious. Manly virtue, feminine weakness. It's baked into our language, our tradition, etc, etc, etc. Women can be extolled for either taking on manly virtue really well and surpassing their station, or accepting their lower place in the hierarchy and doing well at the "other things" that come with. 

Men have it pretty easy, except where they submit to the shame of becoming woman-like instead of masculine.

This isn't mysterious to anyone who has ever read any talk about sports, for example. 

All of this makes it pretty easy to be a man (for the most part, but not always) and not nearly as easy to be a woman. The boxes of acceptability are far, far narrower.

 

[teachercd]

Is that like cow-tipping?

It is apparently what she called "Ding Dong Ditch"

 

[teachercd]

I met Jourdan at B1G Media Days last year! She sat by me all year - sharp, intelligent, funny woman. She's great at her job.

I bet she's run as many routes as 99% of the other reporters in the room.

His statement is ridiculous and so is your %.  Both should be put on blast.

 

[ColoradoHusk]

I think the only reason it would be hard for females to be football coaches is because the players wouldn't respect them.

And I don't meant that like I'm saying they'd be sexist (although some would). What I mean is they know 99.9% of women have never played football. I don't even think it would be an invalid opinion. I see why they would want a coach who has been through everything they've gone through.

That said I feel like football is missing out when it doesn't get any tactical/strategical ideas from the other half of the population. There could be women out there who are as good of play caller as anyone in the NFL but we'll never know it.

I thought Goldie Hawn was a great coach for the Central High Wildcats.  I was surprised when I didn't see her get past the high school ranks of inner-city Chicago.  That was a documentary, right?

 

[Kiyoat Husker]

The world would like us to believe we can't be critical of the marginalized, but we can. It's okay.

Sure, as long as you do it in a non-ignorant way.

White people in South Dakota tend to shake our heads at the Indians plight, explaining to each other that "all they need to do is stop drinking so much and get jobs!"  Easy as that.  It tends to minimize all the terrible things that have been done to them as a people that has led to their current predicament.

 It glosses over the long history of wrongs that has taken away their language, culture, way of life and identity.  It also ignores the fact that their metabolisms are very different than europeans, making them extremely prone to obesity, diabetes and alcoholism.  Being an alcoholic makes it hard to stop drinking.  Growing up amongst poverty, crime, drugs and abuse makes it difficult (not impossible) to "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" and succeed in life.

But none of that stops us from making easy assumptions and judgements based on our few observations of them.

 

[ColoradoHusk]

I met Jourdan at B1G Media Days last year! She sat by me all year - sharp, intelligent, funny woman. She's great at her job.

I bet she's run as many routes as 99% of the other reporters in the room.

There's a South Park joke in there somewhere.