'Mansplaining'

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Yeah, "where's the accountability from blacks/brown people" does not apply at all to this discussion. 

And it's not really blame. Our society very obviously favors straight white men. It should favor everybody. These are ways that those people whom it doesn't favor try to point out how things are, how they experience the world in different ways than the ones for whom it (globally) works best. We owe our fellow man (and woman, and human) a listening ear. And really, some relatively low effort from our part to try and not be part of the deal. 

Like, don't be that guy who assumes a woman doesn't know what a computer is. For example.


https://thereisonlyr.com/dumb-widdle-girls-in-tech-c73647238dc4

 
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B.B. Hemingway said:
Personally, I get nothing. Although, it does get old that most of society's problems are blamed on the white person, or the male (I'm both). There's no accountability from those that find themselves in poor situations. But the "accountability" discussion is for a different thread, because it certain doesn't apply here with this topic.
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I don't want to get too off topic, but there's a book called "White Rage" that shines a decent light on some themes you mention here in your post. Would be happy to split out another discussion thread to dive into this further.

A (summarized and paraphrased) example from the book: once slavery ended, blacks tried moving en masse to other parts of the country to escape their previous owners and the horrendous conditions in the south. One of those places was Detroit. But, the city enacted several codes and laws essentially limiting where blacks could live and what kinds of jobs they could have. Blacks were basically forced to live in one part of Detroit for a long time that was low-income and poverty stricken, which often breeds drugs and crime. To this day, that same part of Detroit is predominantly black and blistered with crime/drugs.

Heck, there were some counties in southern states that still had Jim Crow laws on the books as recently as 2013.

So yes, accountability is a concern, but that ignores a lot of other hot garbage America has inflicted on minorities.

 
Nobody has demanded anyone apologize, only (asked) them to open their eyes. Whatever justification is needed to keep them sealed shut, some will manufacture. Don't be one of them.

Relatedly but tangentially:



 
One thing I'll never understand is why people get defensive about this stuff. I've never gotten defensive about anything said about what White people have done in the past (e.g. with Native Americans, slavery). I just can't even relate to that feeling.

The other thing I can't relate to is hearing about people who have experienced things you haven't and jumping straight to the conclusion that they're either making things up or playing the victim.

 
How about misandry
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By the way, in a world actually defined by its pervasive misandry, you're probably not reserving the question "but what about misandry" for when misogyny is being discussed.

 
This may be a bit blunt but, in many cases, being offended and/or being offensive comes down to a lack of knowledge or being uneducated in a particular way.

But, I also believe it's disingenuous to blame whole groups of people for a problem or suggest whole groups of people are culpable for a problem. We often generalize because it's easier and quicker than qualifying.

 
Enhance said:
This may be a bit blunt but, in many cases, being offended and/or being offensive comes down to a lack of knowledge or being uneducated in a particular way.

But, I also believe it's disingenuous to blame whole groups of people for a problem or suggest whole groups of people are culpable for a problem. We often generalize because it's easier and quicker than qualifying.
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I think more often than not what happens is a group (let's say Blacks, or women) says "this problem still exists" and then the people who are not in that group (non-Blacks, non-women) get defensive.

I know there are people who just say that White people suck and/or men suck, but I see defensiveness all the time when it comes to people merely informing others that a problem exists.

It's much more of a problem for minorities (especially Blacks) than for women. When Black people "complain" everyone likes to tell them if they would just work hard everything would be fine, or "it's just a cultural problem so fix your culture," or "What about Black on Black crime?" or "What about Asians?" or "Quit being divisive!"

I feel like with Obama as president maybe Black people felt slightly more willing to say that there was a problem, and then they just got attacked. This so called divisiveness I've seen was not caused by Obama or by Black people. It was caused by defensive people.

 
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Good points. I'd only add, from my perspective, I think defensiveness ties into a lack of knowledge in many cases.

In my mind, there are sometimes two reasons someone would deny something is an issue: they either blatantly refuse to accept there could be a problem or they simply don't know (i.e. uneducated) a problem still exists. 

Using my previous example, I've seen people suggest on numerous occasions that black Americans should be more accountable for things like black on black crime, poverty in black communities, high number of blacks in prison, etc. While, yes, every community should work from within to improve itself, this line of thinking seems to often ignore reality. Some southern counties had Jim Crow era laws on the books this decade. America shunted and squeezed black Americans trying to escape the south into poor, crime-stricken areas in major cities and basically said 'stay there.' You don't just undo hundreds of years of slavery and racism in a short amount of time or by telling the victims 'hey, fix yourself, kthxbye.'

I think we can draw some similarities back to mansplaining. Men have dominated this world really since men and women existed. Women are still fighting for opportunities, equal pay, etc. We can't just undo hundreds if not thousands of years of certain ideologies in a short time, but I think it's easy for some men in this situation to ignore or deny there could be a problem because they're unfamiliar with what it's like to be a woman and they don't understand the situation.

Edit - While reading this back, it seems like I'm suggesting denial of an issue is always wrong. That seems a bit disingenuous so I've adjusted the language a bit. Sometimes, something may really not be an issue. I guess I would add a caveat though - if someone says something is an issue, perhaps the best response is to understand why they think it is and vet out their opinion. I don't think that always happens.

 
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I agree that it comes from ignorance. But why do ignorant people jump to the conclusion that people are exaggerating or lying?

I'm not Black. I haven't known a lot of Black people in my life. When I see lots of Black people speaking out about their plight, I assume there is a real problem.

 
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I think because it violates or shuffles their notion of reality. You've just contradicted their perception and, if this board is any indication, contradiction often leads to disputation.

 
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