Racism - It's a real thing.

@Moiraine, I dated a gal about three years ago ... and was informed that I was a racist for using the word "gal".  Since then, I've tried as best I can to stop using the word.  I wrote it here to speak of it.  Anyway, I was dumbfounded when I found out that the lady I was dating asked me about the use of the term after about two months of dating.  I did some research which confirmed that in some circles it was a derogatory term toward black women.  I spent .most of my life [40+ years] using "gal" as a reference to a girl/woman.  Funny think is how I usually used it was in response to a positive comment about a girl/woman.  I'd say, "ya, I think she is a really nice gal".  

Going deeper, it was about three years ago a therapist told me it was wrong to identify a female as a "girl".  I was to call a female a "woman".  I still have not conquered that one.  I was taught to respect "girls" my entire life [guess that was to lead to the term "woman"].  

Thus, I'm still processing out these "offensive" words.  

 
BigRedN said:
@Moiraine, I dated a gal about three years ago ... and was informed that I was a racist for using the word "gal".  Since then, I've tried as best I can to stop using the word.  I wrote it here to speak of it.  Anyway, I was dumbfounded when I found out that the lady I was dating asked me about the use of the term after about two months of dating.  I did some research which confirmed that in some circles it was a derogatory term toward black women.  I spent .most of my life [40+ years] using "gal" as a reference to a girl/woman.  Funny think is how I usually used it was in response to a positive comment about a girl/woman.  I'd say, "ya, I think she is a really nice gal".  

Going deeper, it was about three years ago a therapist told me it was wrong to identify a female as a "girl".  I was to call a female a "woman".  I still have not conquered that one.  I was taught to respect "girls" my entire life [guess that was to lead to the term "woman"].  

Thus, I'm still processing out these "offensive" words.  
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Not really sure why this garnered the laugh react. I think people should quit being a$$h@!es and actually consider other people's thoughts on the words we use. I didn't know that about the word gal either but it's obvious you weren't using it in a racist way. But if it bothered her then not using it was the right thing to do. There's always going to be a line to draw when you think someone's being crazy and it's not worth bending over backwards to please them, but if there actually was history with this word then this wasn't one of those times as long as she went about telling you in a good way.

As far as using the word girl, it depends on the context. I often use girl to describe women under 40, but I don't use boy to describe men older than 25 unless I'm specifically talking about a man who's immature. It's something I've thought about before and it is a bit weird that people don't refer to men as boy in the same way. But in a work setting I consciously try not to use girl at all.

 
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One thing I have to wonder with some of these incidents is why the employee keeps going with it. It's obvious the White boy has on a tshirt and athletic shorts and tennis shoes. Just give in at that point and tell the customer she's right and let them eat there.

Update: the owner of Atlas Restaurant group (which owns the place in the video) is a co owner of Sinclair Broadcast Group...

https://www.baltimoremagazine.com/section/fooddrink/hunger-games-alex-smith-conquer-baltimore-restaurant-scene

 
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Moiraine said:
Not really sure why this garnered the laugh react. I think people should quit being a$$h@!es and actually consider other people's thoughts on the words we use. I didn't know that about the word gal either but it's obvious you weren't using it in a racist way. But if it bothered her then not using it was the right thing to do. There's always going to be a line to draw when you think someone's being crazy and it's not worth bending over backwards to please them, but if there actually was history with this word then this wasn't one of those times as long as she went about telling you in a good way.

As far as using the word girl, it depends on the context. I often use girl to describe women under 40, but I don't use boy to describe men older than 25 unless I'm specifically talking about a man who's immature. It's something I've thought about before and it is a bit weird that people don't refer to men as boy in the same way. But in a work setting I consciously try not to use girl at all.
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Well...in a few years there will be no such thing as age anymore...so you won't ever have to worry about it!

 
33 minutes ago, BlitzFirst said:

Great example of racial profiling here...for those that may not understand what it's like...pay specific attention how the cops don't even ask the lady for anything...they just take the lady who called word:

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Uh, you don’t call the police over this regardless. Make your pool security better if it’s that important. The woman says there were 2 people sitting in chairs which means the only people using the pool were the 2 kids. So is it worth calling the police even if they aren’t guests?

This is the type of thing police funding should not be used for. 

 
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10 hours ago, BlitzFirst said:

Great example of racial profiling here...for those that may not understand what it's like...pay specific attention how the cops don't even ask the lady for anything...they just take the lady who called word:

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Reminds me of the book I'm reading from 1961 "Black Like Me"   people are assumed guilty by the color of their skin

 
teachercd said:
This has happened to me at apartment pools about a dozen times.

Pool Nazi's are the worst!
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As long as I have some fellow Huskers here: there was a rooftop pool at the Clayton House on O Street that you could access by the stairwell anytime day or night. No security cameras. No security. So we did that. Underneath the Clayton House was a parking garage with a very low clearance. So low, my buddy figured out, that a tow truck could never get past it. And since Clayton House parking lot security was the same as Clayton House swimming pool security, we enjoyed free parking at a prime 10th & O location for years. Anyone else exploit the Clayton House this way? 

 
Guy Chamberlin said:
More seriously:

There's a place where cowed conservatives and discerning liberals might come to agreement on the current racial narrative, which may or may not be well-intentioned. A long read and it requires a click, but wow is this essay loaded. I happen to agree with it.

https://taibbi.substack.com/p/on-white-fragility?fbclid=IwAR2S3lSIasdiYwauoHAc1HwGCGJAr7ImktkKasEdGkvZJBzykbQgqmUbXvg
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Have you read the book?

This is a book review, and I haven't read the book. Some of the quoted passages are stupid, but I don't know whether the whole book is stupid, and I can't come to that conclusion based on the book review.

This notion that color-blindness is itself racist, one of the main themes of White Fragility, could have amazing consequences. In researching I Can’t Breathe, I met civil rights activists who recounted decades of struggle to remove race from the law. I heard stories of lawyers who were physically threatened for years in places like rural Arkansas just for trying to end explicit hiring and housing discrimination and other remnants of Jim Crow. Last week, an Oregon County casually exempted “people of color who have heightened concerns about racial profiling” from a Covid-19 related mask order. Who thinks creating different laws for different racial categories is going to end well? When has it ever?
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Who does think it. Does the book talk about it?

His logic in this paragraph is extremely flawed. The law being color blind is not at all what people are talking about when they talk about being colorblind. Not being colorblind means it's ok to acknowledge someone's race/differences. It doesn't mean they're advocating that people be treated worse or better because of their race, which is something the mentioned laws are supposed prevent. This part of the article is as stupid as the parts of the book he's being critical of.

 
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BlitzFirst said:
This is one of the most ill supported and ignorant articles I've ever read on both the book and the concept of 'white fragility' ever...it's makes sweeping generalizations with claims like this:

Wow.

You agree with this conclusion?

He then rips on a portion of the book:

Except there still is (white supremecy didn't vanish) and was (it was presented that Jackie Robinson was finally good enough to play with Whites...it's standard fair for institutional racism)....and this essay just sweeps it under the rug and cancels it out as if it didn't happen...which, subsequently, gives credence to the idea of white fragility and the author being a member of said fragility (I don't know if the author is white or not...but I would assume he is based only on this portion of his essay)

What's sad is this guy has written on race relations NUMEROUS times and has written good books and articles...BUT, he must have incredible jealousy that "White Fragility" is getting more attention than his own books because his criticism in this article feels more personal than professional.

He abandons all reason in most of this essay and this is a poor criticism and article that incoherently babbles through most of his diatribe.

I seriously have to ask ...do you really agree with his conclusions?  IF so, why?  I think he's full of s#!t and ignorant and makes a piss poor argument.
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The Jackie Robinson verbiage gave me pause, too. That's pretty much the only problem I had.

Didn't read the book. Maybe I should, Or not. It's hardly on Matt Taibbi. There are some excellent writers and thoughtful social justice warriors who have a lot of problems with this book, not the least of which involve the author selling her racial consulting services on some flawed conclusions of her own. Taibbi's essay is more colorful than most, but the critique's are good and plenty. 

 
BlitzFirst said:
Agreed.  Critique both good and bad is warranted...but it's very odd for someone so racially aware to dismiss white fragility from existing.

It's probably due to the fact that both Matt Taibbi and the person he is writing about are white.  I'd rather learn about racism from someone who has experienced it.  That's why I recommend Ibram Kendi:


How To Be An Antiracist


https://www.ibramxkendi.com/how-to-be-an-antiracist-1

probably one of the best books on the topic.  His previous books are amazing as well.  One of the most thought provoking authors I've read in a long time.  He also had his "Stamped..." book adapted for young adult readers which is an area where these types of subjects are not covered.
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I just got the Kendi recommendation from another friend. Will look into it.  Also don’t think Taibbi is saying white fragility doesn’t exist, just that the author is crafting a self help narrative under that banner and is prone to self help language rather than legitimate and often complicated analysis 

 
DevoHusker said:
https://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/systematic-racism-in-policing-its-time-to-stop-the-lying/

Worth a read.
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From their source

”Blacks were more likely to be pulled over in trafc stops than whites and Hispanics”

” When police initiated the contact, blacks (5.2%) and Hispanics (5.1%) were more likely to experience the threat or use of physical force than whites (2.4%)”

“Whites were more likely than blacks and Hispanics to say police behaved properly during street stops.”

Definitely worth reading.

 
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