Theories on how Bin Laden REALLY was killed

GMoose

GMoose

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My theory: George Bush beat Bin Laden with and American flag while Bruce Springsteen wailed on a 10,000 watt amp nearby.

Other theories: The ghost of George Washington sicked bald eagles on him until he bled out.

Special agent Jack Bauer destroyed Bin Laden's 7th and final horcrux.

Bin Laden was discovered after a botched May Day basket delivery. He couldn't run away in time after ringing his neighbor's doorbell.

 
Richard Simmons invited him over to watch the movie Brokeback Mountain. He couldn't take it anymore, so he killed himself.

He was watching the Situation do stand up comedy and decided to kill himself.

He decided to take his talents to South Beach and Lebron James got jealous so he hired Pat Riley to off him.

 
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When he tried to curse Harry Potter his spell rebounded killing him.

He was on huskerboard and read the "Clever quips about Shawn Watson" he laughed so hard that he had a heart attack

He drank 3 4-lokos on a bet...

He was forced to watch a whole day of MTV programming, he went insane and strangled himself with a "GTL" t-shirt.

 
Bin Ladin was upstairs, happily enjoying his latest copy of Buckeye Sports Bulletin. Startled by the sound of doors crashing in and gunfire on the floors below, he accidently tipped over the chair he was balancing on. Becoming an auto-erotic asphyxiation strangulation victim.

 
I would imagine we fabricated the story that he was shot to preserve his dignity. Most likely what happened was he saw SEAL Team Six approaching, unharmed through a hail of bullets, precisely gunning down all who stood in their path, and the coward shat himself to death.

Just a theory.

 
He slept with Snookie and was so embarrased, he killed himself.

Edit: Change that...

Snookie was butt f'ing him and he was so embarrased, he killed himself

 
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They had something to do with it.

 
He said we should have a b******* for our opening game and huskerboard got out their lanterns and pitchforks and hunted him down.

He was a supporter of Shawn Watson.

Taylor Martinez called him during the TA&M game and the CIA got a signal on where the call went to so they were able to find him.

 
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Shawn Watson drew up the play that allowed the Navy SEALS to get into Bin Laden's compound and take him out...

unfortunately these plays only work against Al-Qaida, Western Kentucky, Idaho and Kansas State.

 
GSG5545 said:
Shawn Watson drew up the play that allowed the Navy SEALS to get into Bin Laden's compound and take him out...

unfortunately these plays only work against Al-Qaida, Western Kentucky, Idaho and Kansas State.
Click to expand...
:LOLtartar

Osama called Eric Martins mom fat.... surprised they could find any of his body.

 
He ordered to collectible Royal Wedding plate, which lead Jack Bauer to his exact location.

He got into the garbage and ate some chocolate.

After being on to catch a predator for the second time, he decided to kill himself.

The Royal Wedding was too much for him to handle, so he killed himself.

 
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Stalin, Hitler, Moussalini, Timothy McVay and some others were having a who is the most evil man draft and they needed one more person, so they all came back as zombies to kill Osama.

 
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