If you could ask questions at post game pressers........

Coach Riley, we captured some video from your practices.  What exactly is the purpose of this drill that seems to dominate your prep time?

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I’d like to find out what’s happening administratively and what the heck Billy Devaney is paid to do and what influences over the program he has encouraged. That is all banking on receiving honest answers. 

 
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Actually, one question I have is: Based on the team’s record right now, do you feel you deserve the extension that your buddy Eichorst gave you at the beginning of this season? Do you feel you are doing everything you can to earn $200k per game?

 
Coach-

Are you aware that the offense is allowed to advance the ball by running it? blah blah blah. Yes, forward in the direction those five fat guys  (that are league mandated to get you up to eleven total players) are facing.....Yes, usually facing.....Yes, but they are allowed to touch defensive players.... *drops Pepsi cup*

Did you know if you gain ten yards in less than 4 plays you get to do it again thus giving your team the opportunity to cross the goal line and score 6 points?

Please tell us what you think the cosmic purpose is of that wide white barrier line in front of the end zone? *blank stare, asks for clarification*....yes, that godforesaken no man’s land located outside the field of play near the ends of the stadium.

What options do you feel there are in the red zone besides punt, kick a field goal, turnover the ball?

When exactly did you receive this league memo that defense was no longer allowed on Saturdays? *gives date and time and specifies it was signed by all other coaches in the conference*

 
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